Direction in Paradise...

Damn I needed this vacation. Its given me a lot of time to think, on the past, present and my future. Its been a long walk lately to I'm not sure where, but now, I'm confident that I will hit the ground running towards where I am meant to go. I have a lot of things on a personal level to work on for myself, things that harm or make things difficult for myself and others that need to be altered. Old habits are hard to kill. But I am proud of who I am, and beyond working harder and on those things that need to be fixed, I'm not planning on changing. Music is my muse, and will always be. My soul is in music. When I get home, I will be working double time to get my home studio finished. I am still in love with the girl I can't  be with, but now, I finally feel like it's OK. We cant help who we fall in love with. You can change things about yourself to make it all work better, but you cant change someone else. And even if you can, you shouldn't. And most importantly you can not change the situation that you will find yourselves in. You can try, you can push, pull, scream, fight, and cry, but sometimes things just are beyond your control. You can not blame yourself or the other person when this happens, sometimes life is just unfair. To accept this takes a lot of currage and strength. And accepting doesn't mean you have given up, it just means that you understand and you're not fighting against a current that will kill you if you fight it. What you can do however is do everything in your power to make life in general better, and thats what I am doing. I miss her, and always will, but thinking about it I have so many things I need to make better that even though the situation sucks, I know I can make other things that surround it so much better. And if things change in time, then I know I will be ready for them. I'm not scared of the future anymore, and its been a long time coming. Watch me as I spread my wings and fly. Thank you to those who have been behind me ever step of the way, I am blessed to have these people in my life. I have a couple more days left in paradise, but I'm not even going to be sad when leaving, because I know what I have to look forward to when I get home. And to her, well I am always here and now, I can be that friend again that you once knew. And to myself, well damn, good fuckin job finally. Music on its way. OVOXO and from me, AR, a toast to the future.